Whit and Jim: February 2023 - Stuff at Home + Ever and Mommy VA Trip

We joined the Cikaneks for a lovely trail walk.

The children became obsessed with climbing in the tree in Cikaneks' backyard by the pool.

They started going really high, and we had to impose a height limit because a fall would've been onto brick or concrete or metal.

Ever got to go on a youth temple trip.

The youth also went to a water polo match to support Ella Walker, El Camino High's goalie (and a member of our ward).

Linsey Rauch, mother of Wren's friend Sienna, had Wren and Tiny over for a playdate. They hung out with Sienna's cat (and dog and maybe bird?) at home and then went to visit her horse. The Littles passionately loved the afternoon. I loved that Sienna made them brave with all the animals.

We got a foosball table for the cabin. It's a tight fit and makes TV watching extra difficult, but it was the right call. (After the below picture was taken, we turned the table the other direction.)

We tried videotaping Ever's and Wren's pieces for Certificate of Merit, a program that does standardized testing in theory, performance, and sight-reading every year. Ever did Level 3, and Wren did Level 2. It was a lot of work. Last year we signed up for it (and paid) but ended up messing up and not completing our submissions. (Ever was prepared and was doing it, but we didn't videotape one of her tests as we were supposed to so had to forfeit.) That was upsetting. I was pleased that we succeeded this year, and the girls ended up passing with honors! This is video of one piece by each (though not the videos we ended up submitting).

I found a bunch of Bear's writings (like journal entries) from January in the trash. Two of the three highlight poor parenting by Jim and me. The bath one sounds very much like the February bath incident detailed below. It's so hard being a parent and trying to get your kids to do what you ask.

I liked this one. It seemed poetic or something, even though I'm missing that last word on the top line.

Coco gave birth to Logan on February 2. Every time I went to help in the past, Ever begged to go with me. I always said, "I'm going to help; I don't need another kid to take care of. Plus you have school." This time, I realized she was old enough to actually be helpful and it would be priceless cousin time. So I took her. The plan was for us to be there for the birth so we could take care of the other kids while Courtney and Dustin were in the hospital. We knew Coco would have to be induced because all of her and my kids were induced. Coco even got into a beef with a nurse about it when she was trying to pin down an induction date, explaining that we had to buy plane tickets. The nurse said, "What if he comes earlier?" Coco said, "Well, we'd figure it out." And the nurse said, "Exactly," totally unsympathetic to the whole we-have-to-buy-cross-country-plane-tickets-and-want-them-to-be-at-the-right-time plight. Coco and I talked about the nurse and how she was dumb because none of our babies come without being induced. But then Logan did, just to teach us a lesson. Bag Lady had to scramble for childcare to get to the hospital, and he came so fast that she couldn't get an epidural (I DON'T UNDERSTAND). But everybody survived, and Ever and I arrived a little over a week later (after a red-eye flight February 10-11).

I spent a good amount of the visit making dinners (such a time-consuming necessary evil). Ever played games with Anson and Eleanor, loved on Weston, and held the baby as much as she possibly could.

Ever showed Eleanor how to make a paper plane.

Then she spearheaded the making of Eleanor's valentines for school using the template I had just bought on Etsy for my girls, so that was super helpful all around.

Ever's teacher, Mrs. Hurst, was super mellow about, and supportive of, Ever's missing school for this trip. She did have to do some schoolwork while we were gone, though. Wes helped out.

He also enjoyed when Ever shook her hair in his face. It was a little bit they did.

Dustin came home one day with some purchases from an international market he had found and was very excited about. One of his purchases was sugar cane, which he prepared for the children to gnaw on after dinner. That was the highlight for Ever.

Ever got to sleep alone on an air mattress in the fitness room downstairs. In that room, there is an Amazon Echo whose name was changed from Alexa to Ziggy. Ever loved being able to play music on it, whatever she wanted. I went downstairs and heard her saying, "Ziggy, play 'Rhiannon' by Fleetwood Mac... 'Yesterday' by The Beatles... 'The Boxer' by Simon Garfunkel... 'American Girl' by Tom Petty." I loved hearing her selections - songs we'd introduced her to. (As I write this, however, I have to admit that she's now really just obsessed with Taylor Swift and Bro-country, so that's unfortunate.)

Dustin took the big kids fishing.

I took Wes on a neighborhood walk, which was lovely, to give Coco some peace at home.

We watched the U.S. women's national soccer team play in the SheBelieves Cup (with fun snacks).

It was fun for Ever to be a big girl and stay up and watch things after the other kids had gone to bed. Coco and I introduced her to disaster movies with a screening of ____. It had some language, which Coco regretted, but Ever thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

Dustin and I took most Anson, Eleanor, and Ever (and maybe Wes?) to Frying Pan Farm Park, a cool little place operated by the County super close to the Homers' house.

Iced-over puddles were the biggest attraction.

We made s'mores in the backyard.

I wore an amazing outfit consisting of all of my warm clothes.

We made delicious homemade pizza. Coco said it's gourmet when the crust bubbles like ours, so that was a triumph.

Meanwhile, back in Oceanside... On the first Sunday we were gone, I got a string of frustrated texts from Jim about how he asked the Littles multiple times to get bathed and ready for church, and they wouldn't do anything until he yelled at them, and he was going to take away all treats and privileges. He wondered if they had to skip church because he'd had to yell and slam the bathroom door to show them how upset he was. Then he texted and said, "We came to church in silence. I don't know if I'll ever talk to them again." Then more texts about how they'd lost all freedom and would have to be forced to do things right away or he'd resort to corporal punishment. It was very validating for me because I was always complaining about the girls' not listening, but Jim didn't really see it. And when I'd left town before, he'd said they were perfect angels (and meant it). So it was sad for him, but I was glad he got to experience some of my pain.

Things got better after that rocky start. Jim had promised to show the Littles an amazing time to make up for the fact that they missed out on Virginia. He took them to iFly (and vowed never to go again because it is so ridiculously expensive).

He took them bowling.

And he took them to the tide pools.

I'm sure there were plenty of treats and movies in there, too.

Sweet Bear.

Ever and I returned home. There was a little post-church jaunt in Hosp Grove.

Berry was not happy during the taking of this picture.

Speaking of unhappy Bear, I captured audio of her screaming like a lunatic after she got upset with me about something. I wish I could remember the context, but my best guess is I tried to step in and separate her from a sister when they were fighting and she lost her mind. It is reminiscent of Ever's violent days, and it is terrible. I want, when I am old, to remember that parenting is awful and hard sometimes, and children are irrational and impossible. So here you go.

Tiny and I worked a cookie booth with Cira (in her troop) and her mom. Tiny is one of the more mature kids in her troop. (At least half of them are a grade younger.) Cira is quite a character. I would say that professionalism was lacking.

Ever missed prime cookie-selling time while we were gone, but we still managed to sell lots of cookies. Here's Tiny ready for a night of door-to-door:

JCS hosted its annual Poetry Cafe, and the students all read original poems. After each poem, the audience was invited to do "likes" and "wonders," such as, "I like that you spoke confidently and clearly" or "I wonder why you picked that particular subject." Likes and wonders are a big JCS thing. Tiny was so soft that she was completely inaudible and nobody could do any likes or wonders, but she did it!

This is the poem Ever read:

I don't have a copy of the poems Tiny and Wren read at the Poetry Cafe, but these are others Bear wrote during their poetry unit.

The girls did one session of an after-school jewelry making class and really enjoyed it. At the end, their work was displayed in various shops in downtown Encinitas. The place that had Ever's was closed when we went, but we found the other girls' displays.