November 2023 - Mexico House Build

The weekend before Thanksgiving, we went down to Ensenada with a group organized by Meagan Bunnell for a house build with an organization called Baja Bound. We had raised about $10,000 for the project. People fundraised. The girls and I helped with a big bake sale at Meagan's, and I bought baked goods from Ali Wood, who was also baking on her own to raise money. Because we are not comfortable asking people for money, Jim and I just contributed our portion. All participants also paid a reasonable amount for lodging and food for the weekend.  

The other families in the group were friends from the ward (the Warrs, Nearents, Gustafsons) and our old ward (Brian and Ali Wood - Meagan's brother and sister-in-law - and their kids). We met at a Starbucks by the border and then caravanned down, stopping once at a meeting spot to get some instructions from our Baja Bound leader. 

When we got to the build site, our leader introduced the Flores Sanchez family. The mom was Karla, dad Leo, and kids Melanina (13) (I thought her name was Rosario or something, but Meagan just sent me a doc saying it was Melanina), Juan (12), Leo (10), Paula Nicole (9), and Karla Isabel (4). The family then had the opportunity to say a few words. The mom, Karla, was super emotional instantly, as was I. They were so grateful for the sacrifice we had made to come down for a weekend and build this house (which was no sacrifice at all). Instantly, I was overwhelmed with love for them, and I was crying like a crazy person (as was Katie Gustafson, which made me feel slightly less crazy). After they finished speaking, I went over to Karla and hugged her (she was a very good hugger) and told her in terrible Spanish that I loved her family. 

They gave us a tour of the house in which they'd been living, right next to where we would build. The structure appeared to be patched together with found wood and other materials, and clothes and bags were shoved between the walls and the roof to fill the gap. Inside, the one little dirt-floor room was largely taken up by the single old mattress on which the entire family slept. There was a little cooking stove along the wall on the left, and that was it. 

These are their bathroom facilities:

We learned that the dad, Leo, had been super depressed about being unable to provide for his family. The routine was that he woke up at 4:00 A.M. and walked down to the bus stop to catch a ride to the fields where he worked, and he didn't get home until 10:00 P.M. He didn't get to spend any time with his family. Karla walked their four-year-old, Karla Isabel, to school every morning, and Karla Isabel would complain that her legs were tired because it was really far for her little legs. (I can't remember how many miles.) Then, after dropping Karla Isabel at school, Karla would go to the store and buy water and food for the day and carry it all the way home. 

Leo had taken a couple days off work before we arrived so that he and Karla could level the land by hand (which was apparently a very long and difficult job) and get the foundation poured. So once introductions and the "tour" were completed, we got right to it. The men started framing, and the women and kids started slapping paint on boards and beams. I didn't know what was happening, and it was a little crazy. Everything is painted on the ground, so there's constantly dirt getting into the paint. The kids are oblivious to dirt in paint and other issues, so it was a difficult time for me. I also didn't feel as if I knew what I was doing. We were too slow getting paint on, so plenty of the wood was installed wet. The family helped as much as they could.

New house on the left; old house on the right.

We (the men and teenage/tween boys) got the roof framed by the end of day 1, which was great. 

Brock Nearents had broken his arm right before the trip. That first afternoon, the Nearents got a call saying that the x-ray results showed the break was through his growth plate, and they needed to bring him in right away. So Matt and Brock headed home (but drove back down the next day after Brock got fixed up). Also, some of the kids were kicking a soccer ball around, and it ended up by the neighbor's tied-up dog. One of Ali and Brian Wood's kids went to fetch it and got bitten by the dog. His hand was cut pretty badly. So the Wood family left to get medical attention in the States for the dog bite. Brian drive all the way back down to Ensenada the next morning, though. 

Our group stayed in a hostel-like place owned by Baja Bound in a gated community by the beach. They had cooks who prepared lovely and huge breakfasts and dinners for us; then we packed lunches to eat at the site. 

After dinner, Ever loved on Wrenzy, who was not really having it.

She softened a little when Evie Gustafson joined in.

One night we had some churro guys come and make us fresh churros. Ever and Jim waited patiently in the churro line:

We were told each person could only have one bag of churros, but it turned out that each bag contained a whole bunch of churros. So delicious. The churro people provided chocolate and caramel you could drizzle or dip into, but I found those accessories unnecessary. 

Sleeping arrangements were determined by Baja Bound. We were assigned a little wing with the Nearents. It consisted of a small bedroom with a two-person bed, a bathroom, and a room with one full- or queen-sized bed and a couple of bunks. Jim and I tried to be nice by giving Matt and Tara Nearents the marital suite (private bedroom), and we slept in the room with the kids. The morning after the churros, however, we learned that at least one member of every family except ours had gotten sick in the night, and some families had had multiple vomiting members. (I think most of the Warrs got sick.) What that meant for the Nearents was that one of their kids puked right next to our bed, and Matt had to try to deal with the kid and quietly clean up the vomit in the middle of the night, in the dark, without waking us. Jim said he heard some commotion; I slept right through it, thanks to my earplugs. All the sick people were fine the next day, so it was believed to be some churro issue. Good thing Kringels have iron stomachs, apparently. 

The old house.

New house, old house.

Jim was initially very skeptical about this project. He thought we would be replacing a shack with a shack. But after he saw the old dwelling and the new dwelling, he realized what an amazing thing this was for this family. A room with three separate sleeping areas, a concrete floor, a roof that doesn't leak, a door that locks. It's huge (metaphorically). 

The afternoon of the second day, the men kept working while the kids and ladies visited a nearby migrant camp. We set up a distribution line and gave out food and then clothing that we had collected and brought down. The migrants all live in a long, skinny, structure with a dirt floor that is open on one side (tarps were hung) and sort of looks like horse stalls or something. Ukus (head lice) are a huge problem, so we were advised to put hair up and wear hats. Somehow, despite the filthy communal living situation, they still manage to reproduce; there were multiple women (or girls) who were either pregnant or had little babies. It's devastating. Our Baja Bound leader said they are lured there to work in the fields with promises that are not kept, and the people are just sort of stuck. It was kind of odd; the people were simultaneously sort of detached and ungrateful while also being desperate for anything. Some of the food products we took had come in large plastic bags, which we had ripped open. The migrants wanted those ripped plastic bags and boxes and anything else. 

I tried to help nail drywall and was the absolute worst. Almost every single nail bent. Jim kindly tried to blame the poor-quality nails, but Shanna Warr was able to do it no problem. Clearly, user error was the primary issue.  

The kids helped mud and sand the inside. 

Ever

Tiny in the middle in the orange hat; then Ever and Wrenzy to her right

The house had a super-small living space in the front and then two bedrooms (one for parents and one with a bunk bed for kids). Then there was a loft, where some of the kids were going to sleep. Our group's children were very excited about checking out the loft. (That's the Flores Sanchezes' nine-year-old daughter on the left.)

We hurriedly finished painting and other finishing touches before the dedication ceremony. 

A local pastor came to perform the dedication. Note the water tank on the platform on the right in the picture below. We had enough money to buy that water tank, beds and bedding, and a few groceries.  

After the pastor spoke, Karla expressed her gratitude and read each adult in our group a scripture, which she had stayed up all night writing on scraps of paper to hand out to us. It was very tender. They said their house was our house. They invited us to stay with them if we came back, and Karla said she would make us food. Karla and I cried a ton again. Their sweet 13-year-old daughter was also emotional. 

Group photos were taken. 

The Kringel girls (and other girls in our group) were obsessed with cute Karla Isabel. They played with her and tried to talk to her in Spanish and carried her around and painted her nails. Wrenzy had the honor of posing with her in the kids-only photos.

The grand finale was when the family went into the house and closed the door, and then our group (starting with the kids) knocked on the door to be welcomed in as the first visitors. 

We all went in and hugged the family, and the tears kept coming (for Karla and me, at least). 

Then it was time for goodbyes. Jim gave Leo (the dad) the cash he had on him. Wrenzy and Karla Isabel shared a sweet hug.

Then we all headed back to the border. The group stopped at a taco place in Ensenada for lunch on the way out. Ever liked it. Wrenzy wanted to get out of there. 

We sat in the border crossing line for about three and a half hours. It was excruciating. After a couple of hours, we saw the Nearents in the lane next to us, and that made for some fun texting and other interactions. As we got close to the border, Matt texted a GIF of Tom Cruise running as though escaping from border hell. I told Tara Nearents later that I had wondered what would have happened if the girls had had to go to the bathroom; would they have had to go in a bottle? And she said, "Oh, Paige did." There was also a discussion of why the Warrs had every vendor/beggar all over their car the entire time, while no one bothered the Nearents. Pictures of Mark Warr and Mark Nearents were compared; Mark was smiling and waving to all the people, while Matt looked mean-faced straight ahead. Pretty funny. 

November 2023 - Agua Hedionda with Tiny, Ever's Sixth-Grade Camp, and Other Tidbits

 Another interesting writing by Wren, coded in some fashion.

Ever's soccer team, with Coach Madeline in the center.

Missy had a hard time getting the black tough-girl paint off her face. We tried the exfoliate-with-sugar trick, and it was ineffective. 

Jim finished building what we call the "mud room" in the garage, where the girls can put their shoes and backpacks. They have been terrible at keeping it clean, but it's better than having all that stuff in the house. 

After the backpack hooks went in: 

Ever went to sixth-grade science camp Monday-Thursday in early November. Full of optimism before they left:

L to R: Ever, Emalyn, Lucy, someone I don't know, Leela, and Grace

L to R: Grace, Ailana, Lucy, Leela, and Ever

The same girls, plus Hana and Rio and a couple other people thrown in there.

Ever's science teacher, Ms. Glancy, e-mailed photos in the evenings. 

The bus from camp arrived back at school on Thursday about an hour and a half before the rest of the kids got out, so I took Ever and Leela to Chick Fil-A. 

They said camp was pretty awful, except Ever loved the food, surprisingly. They had a tyrannical counselor. Kids were crying and calling home and begging to leave early. More than one (including Lucy Bowen) was picked up early. These kids are so incredibly coddled, it's ridiculous. I really believe modern parenting is ruining kids today. I don't know what to make of the kids' complaints, but I can't imagine it was that bad.

In case my children ever want to look back and see what their school or soccer pictures would have looked like had we purchased them, here are the proofs. 

Sometimes the Littles just spontaneously do cute things together.

Ever and Ella Rondo went to Sister Latteier's house with me for a Relief Society "foodie" night, where Sister Latteier and her friend taught us how to make tamales. (Turns out tamales are way more trouble than they're worth.)

The Littles found giant walking sticks on a trail jaunt by our house.

I went with Tiny's class on a field trip to Agua Hedionda. First stop was a fun little erosion exercise. I mostly like this video because it shows how micro Tiny is compared to her classmates. She is very appropriately nicknamed.

Then one of the workers did a show and tell with some animals. Tiny with her besties, Kaia Johnson and Maya Phillips:

I was pleased that Tiny touched the snake.

Mrs. Haseyama with the class

Maggie Long invited us to do Thanksgiving with them. Then no concrete plans were made. I was a bit confused because if I'd been in charge, I would have contacted her to plan what dishes we were each going to make, etc. Then about eight days before Thanksgiving, she texted and said that Al's aunt had invited them to Thanksgiving, and they were feeling like they should spend it with them, and they hoped we didn't hate them for changing plans. It was totally bizarre. I couldn't believe they would bail like that. It was so late by that point that I didn't feel as if I could ask Rebecca if we could join forces with them, so I resigned myself to doing the whole Thanksgiving meal alone. And then I piled on by inviting the missionaries and the Scottish soccer coach, Kenny, who was soon going to be moving in with us for about a month.

Tiny helped me make the rolls. (Check out the highlights in her hair.)

The turkey looked golden and lovely early. I stuck the thermometer in and thought it was done, so I took it out. Then right as people were coming over, I discovered that the turkey was totally raw. And then Kenny the soccer coach said he has an onion aversion, so that was a problem for the cheesy potatoes and I forget what else. We cut off a little tiny bit of turkey that looked done and started eating a meal of side dishes with a bite of turkey. I had called Rebecca in a panic when I learned that the turkey was not done, so she gave us a plate of extra turkey. By that time, everyone was done eating, but at least the missionaries were able to make up plates of leftovers that included turkey. In sum, Thanksgiving was a total disaster. 

I took the girls bowling with Cikaneks. 

Coach Kenny moved into the guest room. He was super nice, but I realized immediately that it was pretty weird to have a man living here while I am home (usually alone) all day every day. I wanted him to be comfortable and help himself to the kitchen, TV, etc., but he mostly hid out in his room. It was slightly less sad for him when we put a TV in the guest room for him. I didn't know how much to invite him to join us for things. Did he want to eat with us? Watch movies with us? Super awkward. I think these temporary coaches' favorite setup is when somebody has a guest house or other private space for them. Our house is not that. Anyway, he coached Wren's all-star team, and he was really great. He went on a Sunday afternoon walk with us early on. Jim loves little neighborhood libraries even though they generally contain terrible books. 

I loved the golden light.

And we had a beautiful sunset.

Wrenzy was dreaming about having her own room, to the point that she drew up plans for this room she'll never have.  

Ever's classmate at JCS, Grace, had a birthday party at Moonlight Beach, and all the girls from their class were invited. Grace's mom had supplies for them to make dried flower bouquets. It was really cute.

The mom of Ever's soccer teammate invited the girls for soccer golf. Only a few of them could make it, but it seemed like a fun outing. 

Little tiny Ever, Alina, Kendall, and Aubrey

Maya's mom, Melissa, texted during a playdate she was hosting and said the girls were having so much fun, playing outside the entire time - swings, climbing trees, jumping on the tramp. I said those were Tiny's favorite things, and Melissa responded, "I almost had a heart attack when I saw her climbing up too high in the trees!" That's our Tiny.