The Return to School Friends / Changing Schools

Wren is starting middle school, and since there's no way we'd be able to carpool with Leela and Rafi through all of Wren's middle-school years, we decided we should move her now, when everybody else is also new to middle school. Leela is starting high school with Ever, so she's out of JCS; unclear if Rafi will be returning. He wants to go to a middle school up here if he can get in. Losing the carpool is a deal-breaker. Even with the carpool, I'm so over the early mornings and the drive and the Friday homeschool (although the Friday homeschool is, in some ways, really nice). So we decided we finally have to move both girls, even though it's seriously heartbreaking for them and me to think about taking them away from their friends. We've been talking about it for so long, and it's been so hard. 

Tiny and Wrenzy had spring break the week of March 30-April 3, and then Ever's spring break was April 6-10. Since we went to Hawai'i April 7-14, the littles missed a week and a couple days of school after their spring break. We got back to Oceanside after 1:00 A.M. on Wednesday morning, April 15, and I let the girls sleep in. I didn't end up getting the littles to school until about 11:00 A.M. Tiny had an overnight field trip to the Star of India (aka the Euterpe), the world's oldest active sailing ship (born 1863), that afternoon (pics to be posted separately), so I walked her in with her stuff. When we opened the door, Miss Scher was reading to the class. Tiny walked in and started toward her seat. Kendall (who was closest), and then Kaia and Maya, rushed her and hugged her, so excited to have her back. Kaia's mom, Courtney, had already texted that morning to tell me how much Kaia had missed Tiny every day that she was gone. Miss Scher kept reading, trying to ignore the disturbance caused by Tiny's arrival, but finally started walking toward the reunited friends (while still reading). I slipped out before I saw the girls get chastised. Directly across the hall, I peeked into Wrenzy's classroom as her best friend, Fiora, met her near the door and gave her a bear hug, while Mrs. Hurst said warmly, "Hi, Wren!" I teared up  as I left the school, so incredibly devastated to be pulling the girls away from these amazing friends who love them so much. I talked to Bags as I drove home and had a serious cry. I was devastated. 

A few days later, I mentioned to Tiny how sad it had made me to see her and Wren's reunions with friends. She comforted me: "It's OK. I get $2 and monthly playdates." Ever had told her that every Wednesday at Palmquist (our Oceanside elementary school), you can get an ice cream cone for $1, and Tiny had negotiated for two ice cream cones a month if she switches schools. I had also told her that I'd make every effort to get her together with her JCS friends as frequently as possible. I felt so much better after talking to her, as she seemed to have made peace with this move. (Before, she got teary and devastated when I brought it up.) 

I finally e-mailed JCS (our Encinitas charter school) to tell them Wren and Tiny won't be returning next year (this fall). I received this response from the principal: 

Hi Whitney,

Oh, we were just talking about how we were afraid we would lose them with Leela graduating and the carpool situation.  I know we don't see you often but we all LOVE both of your girls so much and are so sad to see you go!  I'll never forget Arden carrying those giant Harry Potter books around in Kinder.  You are ALWAYS welcome here if you change your mind.  We also have some new Oceanside families coming if you want to reconsider and have us connect you for carpooling.

Warmly,

Cari

Such a nice, personal message! Makes me cry again. 

Tiny's Shoes Were Almost Stolen While She Was in a Tree

Tiny went outside to play and came back and told me a cute story. She said she was up the street in a tree by the tennis courts. Some guys came and were hanging out chatting by her tree. One of them noticed her Flojo slippers on the ground and said, "Somebody forgot his flip-flops. I wonder if these would fit Luke." I asked Tiny why she didn't say anything, and she said she'd been in the tree above them; they hadn't noticed her, and she'd been quiet for so long at that point that it would have been weird if she said anything, so she just remained silent. The guys moved away a bit, and Tiny dropped out of the tree, grabbed her slippers, ran down to the trail, jumped into a section of super-tall grassy stuff, and hid. She listened as the guy went back to grab the slippers and was like, "What happened to those shoes? I swear there were some here." She was really funny and animated as she told me this whole thing, and I really got a kick out of it. She's so great. 

Things the Girls Have Said, Part 6

Tiny

11/12/23 (Beware of long exposition about the difficulties of parenting and inconsequential details.) 

Jim and I wanted to go on a walk Sunday afternoon. We have been trying to make that a regular thing. We could not get the girls to cooperate with things that needed to be done before we went. We ask them to do something, and then they disappear. They take forever to do anything. We don't understand why it's so hard, and it's upsetting. Anyway, on 11/12, we were going to walk over to the park by McAuliffe Elementary, which they love. But they ruined everything, and we said there wasn't enough time before it got dark so the walk was canceled. Jim was doing something on his computer by that point, but I thought it would be nice to get out in the neighborhood, at least. Wren and Tiny went with me on the trail around the outside of the neighborhood. Halfway around, Wren wanted to come back early via the road while Tiny and I finished on the trail along the other side. So we split, and Tiny and I came upon a swing in a tree. I believe it was the spot where long ago there was a swing we discovered with the Rob and Annas, and Anders accidentally did a partial back-flip off it and then exclaimed, "That was awesome!" That original swing had been cut down years ago, and I had never seen this new one. Anyway, Tiny got to do some swinging in the twilight, and I just love the way she appreciates nature (and swinging). At one point, she said, "Wow, this is marvelous!" As she swung, leaning way backward, she went on to say something like, "It's so beautiful, with the trees and the blue sky." (The sky was a very dark blue, as it was getting close to dark.) 

1/3/24 - When I picked Tiny up from a playdate at London Yates's house, I asked her how it was. She said, "It was really fun. We completed everything we wanted to do." I love the way she talks. "Completed"? She also says "a bit" a lot, and it's my flave. See next quote.

1/9/24 - Skiing in Big Bear, Tiny always takes off first and races to the bottom. On one run, she wasn't at the lift line when I got there with Bear, and she took a couple minutes to join us. When she finally arrived, I asked if she'd fallen or something. She said yes, she'd fallen and lost a ski on "that side part." Trying to confirm where she meant, I said, "Oh, that dirt section at the top?" (We'd had almost no snow.) She said, "Yeah, but I didn't fall because of the dirt. I was just going a bit wild."  

2/2/24 - While working on homeschool...

Tiny: "Did you just toot?"

Me: "No. In my life, yes, but recently, no."

Tiny: "Yeah, because you've been alive a long time, like long time no whammies." 

The girls frequently use my made-up words and weird sayings, and it's my favorite. 

4/7/24

I told the girls I'm speaking next Sunday on tithing. Tiny ran upstairs and returned with the book Girls Who Choose God and said it reminded her of the story in the book called "A Generous Widow." It was so cute that tithing reminded her of the widow's mite story and that she ran to get it to help me. 

5/29/24

Me: "I could snuggle you all my life, Helen!"

Tiny: "And I could listen to you read The Hobbit all my life. While snuggling, of course."

6/9/24

Tiny made a list in a little notebook of the things she wants to do on her birthday: crepes for breakfast, family presents, grilled cheese for lunch, read, party with friends. (Later added family movie/slumber party.) I said, "I love that you have 'read' on your list." She said, "Of course reading has to be there! Without reading, what is it? How is it possible to be a birthday without reading?"

7/6/24, as Tiny was putting sprinkles on her birthday cake

Me: "Ideally you would have washed your hands before you did that." 

Tiny: "Ideally. But I'm not ideal." 

I've been noticing for a while that Tiny uses good words she's learned from books. The other day she said she was "able to tolerate" something. She also used the word "disown." She told me she understands a lot of words she has read but never heard. So I guess let's hear it for her excessive reading.

7/7/24, having received a little practice balance beam and gymnastics bar the previous day for her birthday

"I think I could be amazing on floor and beam. I'm the only one who can do tricks on the floor. I, personally, am horrible at beam, but I just need to learn balance." 

8/8/24

Ever had a small cavity at her dentist appointment. I believe she had one other small cavity when she was really little. Other than that, we haven't had any. Tiny was shocked upon hearing the news and said, with feeling, "You're a horrible person!" 

9/3/24 

"I know him. I necessarily know him. He has already attended school." 

She doesn't totally seem to understand the definition of "necessarily," but she has said it multiple times lately. I enjoyed her use of "attended." She also mentioned something about being "occupied" the other day. 

9/12/24

The lady a few houses up the street has annoying chickens that used to poop all over our driveway because she just lets them roam. They haven't been on our property for a long time, but two showed up in the backyard this afternoon. Tiny ran out and started shooing them with a broom, but they kept running into our glass doors because she was pushing them toward the house. Finally she got them along the side of the house and out through the side gate. She came back and reported that there were two, and "I think they are a married couple. I got one through the gate, and then it stood there and waited for the other one."  

9/22/24

Tiny and Wrenzy were building with Legos instead of going to bed, and I went to regulate but was also singing Phantom of the Opera music. Tiny said, "It's not the time to vocalize. You don't vocalize right before bed." 

6/9/25

The Littles have been on summer break for a couple weeks; Ever is finishing her school year in a few days. Today, the Littles asked me to play the game of Life with them. After I triumphed, Tiny said, "Well, you didn't actually win because you didn't have any children, so you'll be forever sorrowful." Wren says Tiny speaks like an adult. She sort of does, and I love it. 

7/5/25

Tiny and I were making her birthday cake, and she said we needed to spray the pans. I asked if we needed to spray and flour or just spray, and she said, "You can spray, or you can butter and flour. That's my understanding." 

7/11/25

Tiny told me she wants to have five kids and lots of grandkids. She wants the grandkids to be babies. I said, "You know babies grow up, right?" She said, "They'll have one baby, and then three years later they'll have another baby, and then three years later, they'll have another baby..." I said that the other grandkids will be sad when she only likes the babies, and she said, "I'll like them all. I just need to have new personages to make it interesting." 

That same day, Tiny was eating at the table while I was in the kitchen. She said, "I want to snuggle somebody." I repeated, "You want to snuggle somebody?" "Yeah," she said, "I feel like it." 

7/31/25

I asked Tiny to pick up the fly that was dying on the kitchen counter and throw it away. She said she'd pick it up and take it outside. I said, "Why does it need to go outside? Why can't you just throw it away?" She answered, "It needs a tomb!"  

8/5/25

Tiny tried a cookie I made, and I asked her how it was. She answered dramatically, "It was spectacular."

Wren

11/5/23 - Wren told me her life plan: JCS Mountain Oaks through middle school, Sage Creek High School, BYU, and then live in Wisconsin and drive a pink Jeep. "Do you know why I want a pink Jeep? Because pink cars are good luck, so I want to give people good luck." 

11/15/23 

Berry has been saying "I love you" a lot before bed. We go back and forth a few times. Here's a sample:

Me (or Jim) "'Night, Bear. Love you."

Bear: "'Night. Love you, Mom."  

Me: "Love you, Berry." 

Bear: "'Night, love you." 

Tonight she explained to me that she feels like she has to say "I love you" last because the person might die in his sleep. Or get kidnapped or something. I'm not sure if I should be concerned.  

6/13/24

While we were driving home from swim lessons, Berry suddenly said, "Mom? How much money does it take to start a business?" I told her it depends on the type of business. She said she wants to start a baking business (inspired by the cafe in The Bookwanderers) where they sell baked goods described in different stories (in other words, they're making and selling in real life the fantastic made-up treats from books). At home, she and Tiny were brainstorming, and Berry said, "I'm going to go get clothes on, and then we can talk more." They're so cute together.

6/30/24

Tiny warmed herself up some chicken nuggets, and she forgot that I had asked her to have peas and corn, too. We were discussing this, and Berry said, "Well she could just have some freeze-dog." I add "dog" to the end of lots of things. And the Littles often eat their peas and corn frozen instead of warmed with butter and salt as Ever prefers them. I just love to hear them say my weird language inventions.  

8/25/24

Wren and Jim made cookies quickly after church so that we could take some to our 1:00 meetup with a new piano teacher (and the rest to the Karners' that night when we went for dinner). As they were making the cookies, Wren started calling herself an "exceptionary" baker, confusing the words "exceptional" and "extraordinary." So she and Jim became the "Exceptionary Bakers." 

9/7/24

We are having a nightmarish heat wave and decided to take Wren home after her soccer game in the morning rather than have her wait in the heat for an hour and a half and then watch Tiny's game with us. I was talking to Wren about what she should do while we were gone, and she told me this was her plan: "Shower, get dressed, acai [she's obsessed with making herself acai smoothies/bowls], Wordle, piano, weekly job." 

She's like an old person, totally addicted to Wordle and other New York Times word games. She wants to do them every day. Ever got her into them.

9/always/24

While watching one of Ever's soccer games, Wrenzy needed to use the restroom and asked Tiny to go with her. Wren said, "I'll give you a favor, but it can't be, like, I don't have to go to the bathroom with you." And thus it came to our attention that the girls have a favor system. They ask one another other for favors and keep track and pay one another back when a favor is called in. It's pretty cute. 

7/10/25

After family prayer at night, Wrenzy has been asking me to carry her to bed "wedding-style." That means like a groom carries his bride over the threshold. She even lets me snuggle her face while I carry her, and it's amazing.  

8/5/25

Wren and Tiny played with Luc and Amelie Oddou and their cousin Olivia (who is visiting) this morning at our house. Wren and I had to leave for a piano lesson, so the other kids went up to Oddous'. At piano, Wren asked, "When we get home from piano, will they still be up there [at Oddous'], or will they have dispersed?"

11/2/25

Jim calls his phone his "dhone" (I don't know how to spell that, but it rhymes with "phone"). I sometimes use "dhone" but more frequently call it a "denwa bango," which means "phone number" in Japanese. I say "denwa bango" instead of just "denwa" (which would actually be the correct term) just because it's more fun to say. So one afternoon, Jim said, "Where's my dhone?" Wren said, "What's your dhone? Your denwa bango?"  

Ever

6/14/24

Wren, Ever, and I went to Leela's dance recital and took flowers. I was debating leaving the flowers in the car in water during the show and then running out to grab them afterward versus holding them the whole recital. I told Ever that I think I worry more about keeping plants in water than other people. She said, "That's funny because other people keep their plants alive." Truer words were never spoken. I kill everything instantly. Touché, Goose. 

8/8/24

Ever got super mad - like, crying mad - at me for not taking her to use a Starbucks gift card (which I desperately wish she had never gotten) after her dentist appointment on account of our recent excessive sugar intake and a lack of time (we had to pick up Mel and Alina Karner to go with us to middle school registration). Then when we got to MLK, she got mad at me for not telling her that she was going to get her picture taken. I said, "Add it to the list of things you hate me for." She retorted, "I will." Then, "It's a long list. There's not any more room." So this is not a fun memory but a parenting memory, nonetheless. 

9/4/24

We have a middle-school carpool going with three other Henie Hills girls - Alina Karner, Maggie Gustafson, and Evan something-or-other who lives near Maggie. We've been picking up the girls 20 minutes after school gets out so that traffic isn't insane. Conner Warr, a boy from the ward, lives close to the school and walks home. He started hanging out with the girls while they wait for their ride, and it's very cute. Ever came home from school today and said Evan asked, "Why didn't your boyfriend come talk to you today?" Ever said, "A) He's not my boyfriend, and B) [he's at] cross-country."

When I heard (and saw) Conner chatting with the girls (mainly Ever) after school, I suspected that there was a mutual crush, but I hadn't said anything to Ever. Her story about Evan's comment gave me a natural opening. I said, "I wondered if you and Conner had the hots for each other." Ever had never heard that term before and laughed about it. Then she said, "I'm going to date when I'm 16." I said, "And Conner is on the list of potential dates?" She responded, "All Mormon boys are." Enigmatic as to her feelings about Conner, but excellent answers.  

8/23/24

Ever was telling me about a boy in one of her classes, and I asked what his name is. She said, "I don't know. To me, he's a Gavin." 

10/4/24

Jim had an NWSL soccer game on, and the rest of us were doing things and talking in the vicinity. He said something about how he would really like to hear what the commentators have to say about that play, but he couldn't hear anything because everyone was talking. After a beat, Ever, who was sort of bending over near the couch for some reason, said, "Is that what they call ... microaggressions?" 

6/22/25

While walking by the Provo River and chatting, Ever announced that she is not getting married. "I'll go on some dates, but I am not getting serious with anyone, and I am not getting married." I asked why she didn't want to get married, and Tiny said, "Because dating, kissing, all of that." Ever concurred emphatically, "Yes, all of that." 

Jim (bonus)

8/13/24

Jim talks in his sleep not infrequently, and he has said some funny stuff. Tonight, as I was heading to bed he said: "Oh, no. Took my pants again, Par." 

White Girl

Ever laughingly told me two little anecdotes when she got home from school today.

1) Somebody in one of her classes asked her where she was going to go to high school. She said, "Probably El Camino, but maybe Coastal." A boy responded, "Don't go to El Camino. You won't fit in there. You should go to Coastal where all the white people are." (El Camino is our district school, and it, like the middle school Ever attends now, is majority Hispanic. Great Schools says it is 19% white.)

2) They were talking in her history class about how Christopher Columbus wasn't Spanish, and someone asked if he was really white. The teacher, Ms. Williams, replied, "Well, not as white as Ever."  

Wren's Favorite Things That I Say

Tonight, after I had just said "island view" (code for "I love you") to Bear, she said, "Guess what my favorite thing is that you say?" 

"Island view," I guessed.

"Yes," she said. "I also like 'wing na.' And 'egregious and Kathie Lee.'"

"Wing na" means "why not" and was originally inspired by the actress Ming-Na. I've been saying it for decades.

"Egregious and Kathie Lee" means "agreed." "Agree" became "egregious," which suggested [Live with] Regis and Kathie Lee. 

After I wrote this, Jim said he invented the whole "Egregious and Kathie Lee" thing, so maybe I don't get all the credit for the quirky sayings being passed down to our offspring. But I love it.

Slumber Party - November 2024

Jim was gone on his surf trip Thursday, November 7 to Tuesday, November 12. Ever had her last regular-season soccer game Saturday morning; the Littles had had theirs the week before. The Littles had two free Menchie's yogurts coming to them via these things they'd gotten at school for reading a bunch, and we could only redeem them at certain locations - including San Marcos but not including our Carlsbad location. So after Ever's game, we got sandwiches at a nearby Jersey Mike's and then went to Menchie's. That afternoon, the girls did their weekly jobs (vacuuming upstairs, vacuuming the car, and cleaning a bathroom). Ever wanted to play pickleball or soccer at the courts, but Ella was gone. So I invited all the Henie Hills kids in the ward. The Pete and Meagan Bunnell kids went, along with Maggie and Norah Gustafson and Alina Karner. Wren didn't want to go but ended up joining after I told her Norah was there. Tiny was playing with Nathan Cikanek at "The Tribe," but after he had to go home, I ran her up to the courts for the last little bit. Things didn't go super smoothly, largely because I couldn't find our courts key. (Ever thinks Jim put it on his key chain, so it was in Mexico.) Ever can reach through the fence and open the gate at the upper courts, but she can't get into the lower courts without the key. But it was lovely to see a bunch of neighborhood kids playing together up there, being sporty and being outside. I want to take advantage of our amazing neighborhood and do that more often. 

Because of the impromptu gathering, the girls and I started our planned slumber party festivities late. I made pork chops and cheesy potatoes for dinner (between running people up to the courts). Ever really likes pork chops, and Jim hates them; it seemed as if we should eat them while he was gone. Then we watched the movie Eight Below while eating popcorn and muddy buddies. Traditionally, our living room slumber parties conclude with my reading to the girls while we're all in our beds. I thought maybe we should skip that part since it was so late, but when all else was done, Tiny said, "Now, reading time!" So I read On Fortune's Wheel (one of our current "family reads") until we discovered that Ever had fallen asleep, about 11:00 P.M. 

Sunday afternoon, I asked the Gustafsons and Nearents if they could take my kids home so they didn't have to hang out during my Relief Society presidency meeting. The Nearents took Tiny; Gustafsons took the other two. (Too many extra kids for one car.) The Nearents didn't want to leave Tiny home alone (she arrived before the other two), so they took her to their house. Then Gustafsons picked her up and took all three girls to their house until I got home. They fed them and everything. It's so amazing to have nice friends in the neighborhood. 

Ever wanted to nap when we got home and asked me to read her to sleep. I loved so much that my nearly 13-year-old wanted me to read to her. We went up to the guest room, where she has been sleeping (with sisters) a lot of the time lately. Ever got in bed, and I lay down next to her and read to her until she was asleep or nearly so. I read the part she'd slept through the night before, plus a few extra pages, which I then had to read to Wren and Tiny separately to catch them up. I've been sad that we haven't been doing much family reading lately, and it's something I never want to end. So my heart was warmed by the whole thing. 

September 2024

Wrenzy had to make a video for school about herself and her summer. 

The first week or so of school, Ever came home a couple of different times saying her math teacher, Mrs. Wagner, had made a comment that day about how smart she is. Ever also said one day that they had worked on a problem in class, and she got a different answer than Mrs. Wagner and most of the class (although one other student got the same answer as Ever). According to Ever, Mrs. Wagner shut her down quickly without letting her really explain her answer. Jim looked at the problem with Ever that night and confirmed that her answer was correct. So Ever went back the next day and told Mrs. Wagner, who acknowledged that Ever was right but didn't give her the big public apology she and Jim thought she deserved. Then on September 3, Jim e-mailed Mrs. Wagner about school supplies she requested for the class. In her response, she said, "Wow, Ever is very intelligent:). She and I will be sparring partners this year. She challenges mine [sic] and her own thinking. I am really looking forward to the level of academics being raised by her input in class!" Super proud of Goose. That's high praise. But also kind of funny in light of the above-described incident. Ever is keeping Mrs. Wagner on her toes, I guess! (P.S. I can add that by the end of the year, Mrs. Wagner was unabashedly calling Ever her "opp" [slang for "opponent"], and it was a very love/hate relationship - probably more hate than love. So that was unfortunate.) 

I saved this picture (Kaia Johnson beaching with Tiny) on the night of September 4th. Can't tell when it was taken or if I posted it before.

I learned a lesson in early September - don't bake with parchment paper unless you have an oven rack above the pan to keep the parchment from touching the heating element. I was going to make brownie ice cream sandwiches, but instead, I started a fire. 

Maggie Long texted Katie Gustafson and me on Wednesday, September 11 and asked if we could cancel our weekend plans to stay at a beach cottage with her on base (Camp Pendleton). She'd booked it for a stay with two college friends Thursday-Sunday, but they'd had to cancel at the last minute. So Katie and I made ourselves available, and Hilary Lawrence came also. We convened around 7:00 P.M. Friday evening and just talked for hours and ate brownies and ice cream. Hilary and Katie slept on air mattresses. I slept on a folding twin bed supplied by the cottage, and Maggie took the bedroom. Saturday morning Maggie slipped out for a run, and I was super bummed we hadn't planned ahead so I could go with her. I didn't want to make noise until I was sure Katie and Hilary were awake, so the three of us weren't up and at 'em until close to 9:00. Maggie returned soon after we got up, and we ate muffins and fruit and chatted for a while. Hilary left to go to her girls' soccer game and do some other family stuff. Katie, Maggie, and I finally got moving around 12:30 or 1:00 and blew up my kayak. Maggie and I went out first (in the harbor by the cottages) and could not stop going in circles. It was funny, but also I could not figure out what was going on. Jim suggested afterward that maybe we had forgotten to insert a skeg. Whoops. Katie and Maggie went out briefly after Maggie and my attempt. That concluded our rather pitiful outdoor adventures for the day. Hilary returned, and we arranged to meet Tara Nearents and Shanna Warr, who were going to join us for fire-pit time. We picked up some food on base and then ate and hung out around the fire pit. Super nice, fun, good people. It's really nice to have lady friends in the gospel. Tara and Shanna took off around midnight. Hilary headed home, too, and then Katie, Maggie, and I realized it made sense for us to head out that night, too, instead of getting beds ready again and crashing, only to hurriedly pack up and get out in the morning before church. I got home after 1:00 A.M., worked more on my Primary lesson (Jim and I were subbing), and went to bed about 3:00; then I couldn't sleep. 

Katie, Maggie, and I all have night guards, so that was discussed on Friday night. I mentioned my history with TMJ but said my locking jaw hadn't really been a problem for a while. Then Sunday morning I woke up with my jaw locked, and I couldn't unlock it. I could barely open my mouth the width of two fingers, and it was very painful move my jaw certain ways, like when I brushed my teeth or used my tongue to get food out from behind my teeth. Eating was very difficult, and I couldn't eat hard things at all. Jim suggested I use it as a diet opportunity since I had been wanting forever to finish losing the weight I gained during pregnancy. But I was so angry about not being able to eat, and I just ate despite the pain. When I was treated for TMJ during law school by some bigwig specialist, he finally said to stop wearing my nightguard because it was either my jaw or my teeth, and the only thing left to do was Botox injections into my jaw (which he sort of dismissed out of hand as an option; I assumed because it was too experimental or extreme a treatment at that point in time). So when my jaw locked and I couldn't unlock it, I thought I should get Botox. Susan Oddou did some Googling trying to help me and discovered that Matt Packard, Kristi Rondo's brother, at Packard Dental in Carlsbad did Botox. So on Friday, five days after my jaw locked, I had an appointment with Dr. Packard, who prescribed seven days' worth of a muscle relaxant to take before bed. I also scheduled Botox injections into the masseter for a week later. After a total of 10 days, before my Botox appointment, my jaw finally opened. It was a terrifying 10 days. I had begun to fear that it was permanently locked (which apparently can happen) or that I would need jaw surgery. As I am finishing this post in July 2026, I can add that I started seeing a TMJ specialist recommended by our dental office. I spent thousands of dollars there on Botox injections and new nightguards. He explained to me what was going on and seemed to know what he was doing. (I did realize, upon seeing this specialist, that Matt Packard probably took a weekend course on TMJ and learned how to do Botox injections and really knew nothing about it. Matt and a lady in his office said I would notice an amazing difference after my injections; it would just be life-changing. It was super nice.) Anyway, after visiting the real specialist, my jaw stopped locking, and I thought I was cured. In recent times, it has started locking again in the night sometimes. So far, I've been able to unlock it pretty quickly. But I live in fear. 

Tiny rode her bike on a lovely day. 

The defrost on the Chrysler Pacifica continued not to work, making me crazy. I took this picture in case I decided to try to go back to the dealer with evidence. 

Simone Biles came to Oceanside (the new Frontwave Arena less than ten minutes from our house) on the first stop of the Gold America Tour, and Ever asked if she could go if she paid for her own ticket. They were super expensive - and Ever decided to shell out a lot extra for a close seat. I had to buy myself I ticket so I could take her, so she really stuck it to me. Once there, we learned that the arena is really small and cheaper seats would have been totally adequate. It was a fun date night with Goosey, though. Besides Simone, the biggest draws were Jade Carey and Jordan Chiles, whom we had also watched compete at the Paris Olympics. There were also some male Olympians and a big supporting cast. It was fun, with music and dancing. The gymnasts didn't do anything crazy because, of course, they don't want to get injured in an exhibition, so that made it a little anticlimactic for me. Although one guy actually did get injured upon landing a tumbling skill. It was devastating to watch. He had to get carted off. I was so sad for him. 

I think this is Simone Biles doing nothing exciting on the beam.

Goosey got a picture with Delphine Cascarino after a Wave game.

Berry explained her cereal retrieval method: "Then it falls, and I catch it, and ... done!"

Tiny does a fun thing with her mouth. It reminds me of a horse, but it's more cheeks, less lips. This isn't the best example of it, but it's all I've got recorded. 

Wrenzy showed me a presentation she prepared for school. 

Wrenzy did a video tour of her Lego creation, but the rest of us in the background sort of ruined it with our yelling.

The Paul and Susan Oddous and the Karners were over for dinner when Tiny came in holding an egg that she had found outside and said there were more. I was so confused about where it came from and wondered if it were fertilized, and I told her to put it back outside because it freaked me out. But Jim said, "Bring them all in!" So Tiny returned with an armful of eggs, plus grass and sticks and stuff. There were a total of 14 eggs in a nest in some tall grass next to our driveway near the garage. Turns out the chickens from four houses up had decided to start nesting by our house. 

We scrambled one, and some people tried it. Not Ever, though. She was very opposed to the homegrown egg. 

Wrenzy carried Tiny, who is the same size, up the stairs "wedding style." Cutest.

 

We learned to leave a couple eggs in the nest and bring in the others so that the chickens knew it was a safe place to keep laying.We got free eggs for weeks. Wren and Tiny enjoyed them for scrambled eggs. Ever remained terrified of them, so she only got them when I baked them into things. The crazy lady who owns the chickens came down and discovered the nest on our property. She tried to talk to me about it once, and I got away quickly to run to a soccer practice. It was a weird situation because I felt like if she was letting her chickens roam all over and lay eggs on other people's property, then she didn't get to go onto other people's property to look for eggs and claim them. But I also felt sheepish about secretly getting free eggs for a long time. 

Tiny had a playdate at Kaia Johnson's with Kaia and Maya (and Kaia's sister, Stella).

Ever, Alina Karner, and Evan something-or-other signed up for after-school volleyball. It's a minimally invasive, six-week commitment. The after-school sports meet right after school, 3:00-4:30, three days a week. After the first couple weeks, they assign teams; over 100 kids are on the novice team, 15 kids are on JV, and 15 kids are on varsity. Ever is loving it, but she she wanted to quit if she didn't make JV. She's never played before, so I was nervous, but she found out she made it! She is supposed to fundraise for choir by selling Otis Spunkmeyer cookie dough (they take a trip to an amusement park, where they perform and play), and she's also supposed to raise money for volleyball. The day the volleyball teams were assigned, she came home and told me about it. She also looked up her math grade and discovered she had gotten 4/4 on a test that the teacher said everyone had done really badly on and not to worry. After a snack and discussion of all the good news, Ever said, "I'm going to go sell cookies." She didn't even ask if I'd come with her, and she had no hesitation. She asked if Wren wanted to go with her, but she didn't. So Ever got change and took a clipboard and the cookie dough order sheet and went out to knock on neighbors' doors. What a great lady.  

On the way to gymnastics class, I got to hear a conversation between Wren and Tiny that  I imagine is how they always chat when they're alone, while lying in bed before going to sleep or while trailing behind on a walk, when Jim and I wonder what they're talking about. For some reason, they just talked in normal-volume voices as if I weren't there, and it was so great. First they debated which one of them is shier. (Shyer? Merriam Webster says either). 

Tiny: "I'm afraid of all adults. Except Rebecca. I'm not really afraid of Rebecca." 

Wren: "I'm afraid of Rebecca. Are you afraid of Miss Susan?"

Tiny: "Yeah." 

Wren: "Me, too." 

Then they talked about dreams. Wren said she'd had a dream that Susan (Oddou) hit them with metal pipes and locked them up forever. She'd also had a dream about flying, and she thought it was real and tried to fly by jumping off "Ever's ladder" (the bookshelf ladder in the triple bunk that leads to Ever's bed). She also said she'd tried to  be invisible, and it didn't work, but she knew she couldn't be invisible. Tiny said she'd also had a dream about flying, but she knew it wasn't real. They wondered aloud how they'd gone "from adults [the fear thereof] to flying." 

We passed a purple car, and they both said, "Purple car, good luck." Wren said it first, so she said Tiny was going to have bad luck. Wren said, "When I see pink or purple cars, I store them up. Then when something really bad happens, I bestow on myself all the pink and purple cars." Tiny agreed: "When I see a pink or purple car, I say [in a whisper], 'Save.'" Tiny said, "We should both drive pink cars so we can give little kids luck." Wren said, "I know, I told Mom on a hike earlier, like a long time ago, that I was going to have a pink Jeep." Tiny said she wants to have two cars, a pink car and a purple car, so "everywhere I go in one of my cars, and even on my driveway, everyone gets good luck." 

There was much more to the conversation, but those are the highlights are remember. It's hard to capture just how cute these people are.

Tiny's Sleepwalking: A Snapshot

4/9/23, 10:15 P.M.

Jim got up from the couch and went to the downstairs bathroom before heading up to bed. He found Tiny in the dark bathroom asleep on the mat in front of the toilet. 

4/24/23

I was hearing movement upstairs, probably in the ten o'clock hour. I went to see who was up and why. The light in the girls' bathroom was on and the door closed. When I tried to open the door, it was blocked by Tiny's body. Again, she was asleep on the bath mat in front of the toilet. I couldn't open the door to lift her up, but she awoke when I said her name. She got up quickly and said, all squinty-eyed and confused, "What's going on?" 

The next morning, I asked her if she remembered what happened. She didn't remember but had seen on the floor of the bathroom the red panda stuffy with which she'd been sleeping the night before and figured it out. 

Around 5/8/23

Tiny got out of bed and came downstairs while Jim and I were watching TV. My instinct is to hurry her to the bathroom because I assume that's why she wakes up. She said she didn't need to go. She came up onto my lap and hugged me, and then I took her back to bed. She just need a late-night snuggle, I guess. It was quite nice. She had no recollection of it in the morning.   

6/26/2023

Dawn came for the weekend to visit Grandpa. We got up at 4:00 A.M. to leave for the airport Monday morning. When she flipped on the kitchen/family room light, she discovered Tiny asleep on the couch. Nobody knows when Tiny relocated herself in the night. She, of course, did not remember going downstairs. 

9/12/24 (tacking this on way later because we just had another funny incident)

Jim and I were on the couch around 10:00 P.M., and I heard footsteps coming quickly. As I was getting up, I caught a glimpse of Tiny rushing around the corner by the bathroom. I called to her, but she just flung open the door to the garage and rushed out. I made it to the garage door right as she reentered the house. I asked her if she needed the bathroom and pointed her to it. After she used the restroom, she came out, waved to us when we said goodnight, and went back upstairs. The next morning, she said she had awakened with an extra t-shirt on. In her sleepwalking, she had put a tie-dyed t-shirt on over the one she was sleeping in. When she got up in the morning, she wondered why her shirt felt heavy and discovered an extra layer. 

Tiny Got Baptized, School Started, and the Rest of August 2024

The Olympics were still going after we got back from Hawai'i, so we continued our support of Simone Biles from home. 

Ever celebrated Ella Rondo's thirteenth birthday. 

The Homers stayed on the Big Island a week after we left, and then they took Tutu back to Virginia with them. They laid over in California for two nights, and we planned Tiny's baptism for when they were here. The girls got fried at the beach right before the baptism, so they are very tomato-reminiscent in the photos. But hooray for getting group shots this time! (And notice Tiny's super bling.) 

Sweet Tines with her beloved Daddy. 

The Cikaneks came, which made it really super extra special. We had invited them to baptisms (I think both Ever's and Wren's) before, and they hadn't made it. But they seemed excited to be there. Rebecca said she'd been wanting to baptize Nathan, so she was excited for him to see someone else's. (They have a new-age version idea of Christianity.)  

Tiny asked Coco to give the (only) talk, and it was absolutely perfect. She talked about names and the importance of names, and she even worked in a mention of "the tribe" - the fort thing behind our house headed up by the Cikanek boys. It was very thoughtful and I'm sure made the Cikaneks feel so much a part of it all. I wish I could remember more about the talk and Jim's blessing, but alas - my memory (and lack of contemporaneous record keeping). 

We set up a treat table outside near the church's kitchen and had a bunch of treats of Tiny's choosing afterward. Tiny had been SO looking forward to her baptism for a long time, but I think it was mostly the treats she was excited about. We had lots of chocolate chip cookies and snickerdoodles. (I won - Snickerdoodles were the last thing finished off, despite Jim's telling me that everyone loves them.) The girls also made cream puffs, but the recipe makes very few, and they were taken immediately. Tiny only got half of one. Cikaneks hung out a long time outside with everybody, and all the ward members were so nice to them. Cikaneks know a lot of ward friends at this point from the neighborhood, from sports, from prior ward parties they've attended, from Henie Hills pickleball headed up by Kristi, etc. It's lovely. They are honorary members of the congregation. 

The day Tutu and the Homers flew out (Thursday, August 15) was the day Ever started seventh grade at MLK. This was the year she switched from JCS to our regular district middle school, MLK (aka "King" according to the cool people, but I never call it that). I don't know if I ever wrote about our decision to switch. The middle school at JCS struggles a bit; a lot of kids leave for or during middle school. Ever had kind of been wanting to go to a big school for a while, where they have after-school sports and more options. Jim and I called Mel Karner once from the car when we were stuck in Saturday morning traffic coming back from the Newport Beach temple. Mel told us about her kids' experiences at MLK and mentioned the accelerated math class that is available to seventh and eighth graders, and by the end of that car ride, we had decided Ever should move. It took some getting used to, but within probably a month or so, Ever didn't regret the switch. I'm writing this in May 2026, so with that perspective - I think it's been good for her overall. 

Musical beds. Tiny on the window seat and Berry in Tiny's bed. (And the room a mess, as always). These girls move around every night. 

Berry got out the old foam blocks, which I loved. 

She and Tiny worked on some magic tricks and performed them for me. The white gloves really take it over the top. 

Monday, August 19, was the first day of school at JCS. Tiny started third grade with Mrs. Shimizu, and Wrenzy started fourth grade with Miss Scher.

Happy reunion with besties Maya Phillips and Kaia Johnson.

Sweet snuggles at home. Tiny is the best snuggler in all the land. And look at those bleached-out little hairs around her cute face. 

Tiny had a homeschool project where she wrote about events from her summer on these three flowers - the event in the center and then the details on the petals. 

Berry is super into acai bowls as afternoon snacks. Judy Blume hasn't been read that much around here, I don't think, so I was happy to see her reading a Judy book while eating. 

It's hard to see in this picture, but Tiny came home from soccer practice soooo dirty. 

I took this picture of Tiny on the way into school one morning just because I thought she looked so cool. Like a skater chick. 

Wrenzy (far right) had a beach practice with her soccer team. (A lot of this soccer stuff probably happened before August, but this is when I saved the photos.)

Another photo from a different day. 

Tiny's team took this cute photo at a tournament. She's the cutest little goalkeeper in town. 

Tiny's team had a pool party. 

Anna, Reba, and I went to the Rose Cafe to celebrate Reba's birthday. Reba got the server to take some blurry photos of us. 

Lastly, Tiny finally learned to ride a bike! She was old, and no one had ever taught her. She got fed up and initiated bike riding practice. Jim helped her a bit. This first video was her maiden voyage.  

Hawai'i With the Homers - Anna Ranch, Mud Lane, Puako, Kawaihae (August 2024)

 Saturday, August 3 we hiked Anna Ranch. 

Dustin managed to get all the little Homers down into The Place. Pod stayed up top and watched from above. 

Dustin and Coco loved up by the (trickling) waterfall. 

I got in and posed like a big dork. 

We jumped off the rocks. I don't remember why we didn't use the rope swing. Possibly the giant stick that's needed to grab it wasn't there? 

It was not a hot day. Eleanor borrowed by new sweatshirt on the way out and got it covered in dirt, but it came out of the wash totally clean. 

I took a lot of pictures of green grass because I love it. 

Tiny ran. 

Dustin and Pod walked and talked, way on the far side.

It was quite dry at the bottom, but at least there was a decent amount of green higher up. 

Next was the Ahualoa lava tube. 

And Mud Lane. Always bringing it with those trees. 

Sunday, Ever left me a lovely screenshot to find on my phone. 

She is very cute, and I don't know how she knows how to do these things with phones. 

Toots played with the keiki.

We went to Puako and saw all the turtles and the sunset. 

The girls had to take turns trying to climb the palm tree. 

Ever relaxed in a tree. 

Tiny did, too. 

Daddy gave Bear a piggyback ride.

All I have from Monday is shaved ice (we appear to have hit a beach first - probably Mauna Kea early) and then Kawaihae Harbor, where some jumping happened. 

That concludes another wonderful, although less eventful and more COVID-hampered, trip to the motherland. It was fun to have the Homers there at the same time.