Testimony

Since the first weekend this month was General Conference, our ward's fast and testimony meeting was last Sunday. I very rarely feel compelled to bear my testimony. During last week's meeting, however, I got really emotional, and ultimately I got up. I mentioned that despite my weepy state at the time, I feel as if spiritual things don't come easily for me. I talked about how in conference, Elder Packer had quoted Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon's witness after they saw Christ, and then Elder Packer said, "Their words are my words." (Except as I write this, I think I misspoke and said Elder Scott instead of Elder Packer. How embarrassing.) I said that in some ways I feel that my testimony is based on the testimony of others:  I believe our apostles, and I know that they know. They are educated and amazing men, and at least some of them have said in no uncertain terms that they have actually seen the Savior. I find such strength in their testimonies. I cried pretty much all the way through, and even afterward had a hard time getting control of myself.

After sacrament meeting, I saw Meiken Alexander (formerly Shupe) in the hallway. She grabbed me, said she had to thank me for my testimony, and gave me a hug. She said she's been having a hard time lately, feeling as if she's on auto-pilot, and my testimony was exactly what she needed to hear. I said something like, "Wow, maybe I was feeling the Spirit for a reason." And she said, "Yes, it was for me. It was for me."

I was really moved by that experience. It's hard for me to feel and recognize the Spirit, and it seemed as if I felt it for a reason, and I acted on it, and it was good. Writing it now, it doesn't sound very significant. I know things like that probably happen all the time to other people. But it was special to me. I still feel emotional when I think about it. And since this is my journal, I figured it'd better record it.