Visit with the Padres

After the trip to Vegas for Alyn's services, Mamo and Pod spent Monday and Tuesday in Oceanside. Monday we had breakfast at Swami's and walked on the pier:

We let Ever take her afternoon nap, so that sort of puts a damper on things.

On Tuesday, Ever went to JoAnn's while I went to L.A. for my usual work day. Mamo and Pod entertained themselves. Mamo spent a few hours shopping while Pod hung out at home. Wednesday we went up to Dana Point, where we stayed until Saturday. Pod's meetings started Wednesday afternoon. We dropped Pod, ate lunch, and then had some time to kill before we could check into the hotel. We tried to find a park and ended up at a pretty grassy area with an overlook but no play equipment for Dolly.

I believe Dolly napped that afternoon, and I did a little work. (Dolly slept on the pull-out couch in her own section of the room that was separated by a sliding door.) Stacey was on vacation in Italy and had given me a time-sensitive project. I stayed up until 3 or 4 in the morning that night working at a little table on our floor overlooking the hotel lobby while everyone else slept. Had to do a couple of short calls (with a partner and with the client) Thursday morning and was anticipating having to put in more work, but it ended up that we had more time to complete the project than the client originally thought. Things got a lot better after that.

Pod went to meetings Thursday morning. Mamo, Ever and I found a pastry shop for breakfast. I got chocolate chip croissants for Ever and me because I always have to try chocolate croissants wherever I see them. They tasted pretty stale, but Dolly didn't mind. She ate all of hers and finished mine:

Hot chocolate was also enjoyed. Then we went to the Mission in San Juan Capistrano. It was a neat place. Mamo said it's a place worth taking dignitaries to. Dolly was being incredibly difficult, so I didn't get to learn or enjoy much. Will have to go back someday, sans toddler.

We saw where the priests ate and lived:

The Mission is famous for the swallows that return and build nests in the eaves every March and then migrate back to Argentina every October. You can see some of their mud nests in the center of the eaves here:

Soldiers also lived at the Mission for a while. I believe this was their dorm:

Cool beds - just ropes or leather strips strung both ways and then blankets thrown over the top.

Pod didn't have any meetings Friday. Ever woke up way too early that day. I took her to the fitness center not far from our room to try to let the parentals get more sleep. She wasn't very good at letting me ignore her, but I did end up getting three miles in on the treadmill. Pod joined us pretty quickly. We wanted to let Mamo sleep as long as she could, so we stayed in the fitness center a while thinking she'd call. Turns out she was awake the whole time wondering where we were. Jim drove up that morning, and I was making arrangements with him while Pod was on the treadmill: 

Then Pod tried to reach for his towel or something and ate it off the back of the treadmill. It was a pretty good fall. Jim and I have both done that before, so I guess it was just Pod's inauguration into the cool club. 

Once we realized Mamo was up, we got cleaned up and went to breakfast. Then we met Jim back at the hotel and decided that he would take Dolly swimming in the hotel pool and then put her to bed while Pod and Mamo and I went for a walk along the coast. She was really giving me a run for my money the whole time Mamo and Pod were here. It was pretty awful. Power struggles with little people are not my fave. In any case, getting her more sleep seemed like a good idea. So while Jim hung out with Dolly, Pod, Mamo and I went on a walk on the Bluff Top Trail, I think it's called. It's supposed to be really pretty, with little historical markers at various places along the way. We found the beginning (or middle or end) of the trail, marked by a sign, but after a minute couldn't really figure out where we were supposed to go. We ended up on the sidewalk in a neighborhood for a while, and then down closer to the beach again (and right through the park to which we'd gone Wednesday afternoon). Based on online reviews, it is clear to me that we weren't on the trail/in the right place for very long. Although it wasn't exactly what I envisioned, it was nice to get out. 

  

Sailor throwing hides off the cliff to awaiting trading ships.

When we got back to the room, Dolly was still sleeping. Mamo and I decided to go on another walk - this time along the beach to a little sea cave - while Jim and Pod stayed at the hotel. (It was the same sea cave we went to with the Young Men a year or so ago, where Dolly got pinched by a crab.) Jim did a good run in the fitness center while Dolly finished her nap and Pod hung out in the room.

Mamo and I had fun chatting as we walked along the rocky coast. She was quite a trooper. I didn't get any pictures of the cave, but this is Mamo right after we exited:

I loved that she was up for that. Best parents ever.

In keeping with the walking theme, we all walked from the hotel to the beach that evening. Dolly had a freak-out over a water fountain, which was unfortunate. Then we found a place for dinner that ended up taking a hundred years and not being very good. 

Saturday I dropped Pod off at his meetings, and the rest off us went to breakfast. The food wasn't mind-blowing, but the service was. They brought a bucket of toys for Dolly, and we got about eight inches of whipped cream on our hot chocolate. It was incredible, and I'm sad we didn't take a picture. 

We got into the pool again briefly and then picked up Pod and headed back to Oceanside. That afternoon/evening Pod and I enjoyed a rousing game of tennis while Mamo and Jim looked on. Dolly served as ball girl and did an excellent job. I was way more terrible than I remember being, and I knew I wasn't good. But I actually beat Pod sometimes (although he was the overall winner), so I think his game is deteriorating, too. We had fun. Enjoyed a movie that night, I think.

I don't think we did anything else noteworthy Sunday or Monday. Watched another movie. Mamo and Pod took off early afternoon Monday. 

Mostly it was a trip filled with restaurants, ice cream, and walks. It's awfully nice that Pod's meetings were so close and we had that opportunity to get together!

Alyn Beck

On Sunday, June 8, we had people over for a waffle dinner when I got an e-mail from Pod saying that Uncle Terry had called to tell him Alyn Beck was killed in Las Vegas. A couple - a 22-year-old woman and a 31-year-old man - ambushed Alyn and his partner, Igor Soldo, while they were eating lunch at a pizza place. Alyn was shot a number of times. The couple had multiple guns of their own but also took guns and ammunition from Alyn and his partner. They put a note with a swastika and a "Don't Tread on Me" Revolutionary War flag on the bodies and then went into a nearby Wal-Mart, where they hoped to hunker down and kill as many more cops as possible. When they entered the store, they yelled at customers to get out, the revolution had started. One civilian with a legal concealed weapon tried to take out the man and was shot and killed by the woman, whom he hadn't seen. The police and the couple engaged in a shootout. The husband was killed by an officer, and the woman shot herself.

Nicole and their three kids - Daxton (14), Avenlee (11), and Katriann (9 mos.) - were in California for Danielle's graduation from her nursing program when they got the call. The only reason Alyn wasn't with them was that he was in the process of being promoted to sergeant and had to be in Vegas to take a test. I called Danielle that night, and she answered while they were in a limo with a police escort going from the coroner's office back to Nicole's house. Metro (the Vegas police force) had flown the whole family back to Vegas that evening.

The story was all over the news, and it was so surreal seeing Alyn's name and picture everywhere. I felt sort of how I felt when I watched the twin towers on 9/11 - this is so weird, and it can't possibly be real. I cried a lot that week thinking about Nicole. In fact, I still cry sometimes when I talk about it. I've never been closer to something so completely tragic.

Mom and Dad were scheduled to come to California on Tuesday, June 17 for ACTEC meetings in Dana Point. They changed their flight so they could go to Vegas for the services the weekend before. I dropped Ever off at the Wilsons' on Friday morning, June 13, and drove to Vegas alone. I listened to Team of Rivals on CD pretty much the whole way. I started it from the beginning, so now I'm reading it (about 1/3 of the way through) and listening to the beginning of it at the same time. You'd think the repetition would help me remember something.

Friday night there was a dinner for family at the church, followed by a viewing and then a family service. Obviously all of Terry and Angela's family were there, as were all of the Hoffmans except Danny and Kristi, who are in Pennsylvania. It was a nice show of support.

This is Melinda (nee Stauffer), who lived with Danielle and me during my senior year at
BYU. I didn't see her and didn't know she'd been there until Dani told me afterward.

Baby Katriann

  

One of the first things Danielle said to me when I saw her was, "I will never forget what it's like to be with a mother and her children when they learn their husband/father is gone." Dani said that amidst all the sadness, they had had some special experiences that week that made them feel that it was OK; it was God's will. They had gone to Cici's Pizza, where Alyn and Igor were shot, and gotten a play-by-play of exactly what happened, where everybody was, etc. Dani said they took comfort in the fact that there was absolutely nothing anybody could have done differently - not Alyn, not his partner, not the medical personnel who responded. If it had happened while Alyn was chasing a bad guy, rather than in an ambush, they could have second-guessed everything everybody did. But here, there was nothing anybody could have done. Dani also told me about a note Avy wrote to her dad the night after it happened. She got up in the night and wrote on a chalkboard where she sometimes writes or draws, and the family found the note in the morning. It started "Dear Daddy" and went on to say how she misses him and loves him so much. "Don't worry, I'll take care of Mommy for you. I know you always say that." She wrote, "I wish I could say goodbye to you. I'll always be thinking of you. I'll see you in heaven." She also said something like, "I feel like this is just something that had to happen to make our family stronger." Breaks my heart. What a mature, faithful little girl. Dani also said that when she had visited them right after Katriann was born, she just had had this strong feeling that they were a very special family.

During the viewing, they showed a video of pictures of Alyn and the family. Pod was most touched by one of Alyn and Daxton from the back as they looked out over the ocean. The one that got to me the most was of Katriann as a newborn curled up on the floor while Alyn lay on his side next to her with his hand gently on her back. It was the sweetest picture, and I'm so sad she'll never know her dad in this life.

At the end of the viewing, they kicked all non-family out of the chapel. Nicole, Avenlee, and Daxton said their goodbyes and kissed Alyn, and then the casket was closed. Watching them was heartbreaking. Then all of Alyn's siblings spoke briefly. Most of them mentioned that Alyn was his/her favorite sibling and that it was OK to say that because all the other siblings agreed. Then his brother Steven joked, "I'm kind of partial to myself, so I'm my favorite brother. Apparently everybody else liked Alyn." They told funny, sweet stories. One of his brothers talked about how he'd always help Alyn work, and his job was to get the tools. The first tool he fetched every time was an allen wrench, which he thought was spelled "Alyn wrench" until he got to 8th grade shop class. After the siblings, Nicole got up. She said she hadn't thought she could do it, but she now thought she wanted to. She said, "I've always been a bit embarrassed that I married so young. Now I'm glad I did because I had a lot of good years with the man that I love." She talked about how once after Katriann was born, she was frustrated and struggling to figure out again how to deal with a newborn, and Alyn put his hands on her shoulders, looked her in the eyes, and said, "One day you will be so glad you have this baby." That was more prophetic than they realized. I  think it's amazing that they debated having another child for 10 years and then finally decided to do it. Katriann is a mini Alyn, and she will be a great comfort to Nicole for many years. Without her, Nicole would be home alone before long. Nicole also mentioned that Alyn had been feeling a sense of urgency in the last few months, tackling projects around the house and even Nicole's projects that she wasn't ready to get to yet. She said she is terrified of moving forward without him, but she has felt strengthened by all of the prayers being offered in her behalf. After Nicole spoke, their bishop and a member of the Seventy (Elder Wade) also spoke. It was a very special service. I was sad Rob didn't arrive in time to be there.

Afterward we took a family picture (the poor photographer, having to wrangle this many people):

Then many of us practiced singing "I Believe in Christ," which was to be the family musical number for the service on Saturday. Rob flew in that night and was met by the police at the airport and taken to Nicole's, where we picked him up. We stayed at the home of a single woman in the ward who was gone for the weekend. (The ward members were amazing. They did so much, offering places to say, providing loads of food, etc.) Didn't get to sleep until after midnight, and then we had to get up early to get to the public memorial service Saturday morning.

The big public service was at a beautiful performing arts center. It was a pretty packed house. Apparently all the cops in Vegas were there, along with cops from Los Angeles and lots of other places. The service was a lovely mix of Alyn's church/family life and his work life. His brother Joseph and sister Elizabeth gave a life sketch. Metro Sergeant Jimmy Oaks spoke, as well as Sheriff Doug Gillespie. One of the higher-ups talked about how strong and tenacious Alyn was and told a story about when Alyn volunteered to spar during a training. The higher-up kept trying to tell Alyn what to do, and Alyn just ignored him. Even though Alyn wasn't doing the right moves, he just kept going after his opponent until he wore him down and finally won. Afterward, the higher-up looked at Alyn and gave a sort of "What was that about?" gesture, and Alyn just said, in a Spanish accent, "I know, I know. No es bueno." Apparently he was very good at accents and had a great sense of humor. They showed a beautiful video containing pictures of Alyn and the family and even a short video of him dancing in the kitchen, which was really cute. Our family musical number was tough. I think it came right after the video, so everybody was emotional. Angela said later, "Did you feel like you were singing a solo? I did!" We think we were really quiet. It was a huge space to fill. I was standing next to Daxton and had to drop out during parts because I choked up. I'm guessing our song wasn't the highlight of the service. Someone from the stake spoke, as did Elder Wade again. Elder Wade started off by saying, "We Mormons like to preach." And then he gave a little doctrinal background before describing the note Avenlee wrote on the chalkboard the night after Alyn died. It was a beautiful service. Alyn was an amazing man. There were some drums and bagpipes at the end. After all the police ceremony, the family walked up the aisle through the building and then out to the lawn where the honor guard tribute was held. It was really moving to walk through that building filled with thousands of people looking at you, feeling their love and support. Nicole has been astounded at the outpouring, and it really was amazing.

The service:

Elder Wade

The honor guard tribute:

Two of Alyn's sisters

It was a hot day, being June in Vegas and all. As soon as we family members got to the tent outside, we were handed water bottles.  The cops in attendance were not so lucky.  I took this picture of the officers on our right. One of them passed out and was carried off very discretely during the ceremony:

Planes flew overhead in Alyn's honor:

Mementos were presented to Alyn's parents . . .

. . . and to Nicole and the kids:

At the end, each of the senior officers came by, stopped and turned to face the casket, saluted, and then walked on. Then, in a seemingly endless procession, the rest of the cops walked by and saluted as they passed the casket. 

Elena Hoffman (Briana and Eric's oldest) had a huge crush on Pod. It began right away at the Friday night dinner and continued through Saturday. She always wanted to be near him and sat by him at every meal. Saturday during the honor guard tribute I turned around to see this - Elena on Pod's lap, with all the other little Hoffman/Bain girls gathered 'round: 

It was so cute. We don't know what Pod did to deserve the attention.

After the service, there was another lovely lunch at the church for family. 

We went to Nicole's for dinner Saturday evening. A bunch of Alyn's siblings were there, and we ended up around a table telling (mainly the siblings and Nicole)/listening to (us) stories about Alyn. He was a really neat, hilarious guy, and he touched a lot of lives. 

We slept in Sunday morning.  I soooo needed the sleep, and it was the first day I can remember when I didn't have to wake up for something or be awakened by a certain little person. Then Mamo and Pod drove back to California with me. I made Pod drive so I could do a little work in the car. I ended up being rather stressed about work the following week, but I was so glad I went. I wanted to support Nicole, and it was amazing to witness the tributes that were given and hear the memories that were shared about Alyn. And it was nice to see a lot of family. I am so devastated for Nicole, but as Ryan (her brother) told me that weekend, she is strong.